Why is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) One of the Most Effective Styles of Relationship Counselling?

In the world of relationship therapy, there are many different approaches, but Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) stands out for its unique depth and long-lasting impact. For those familiar with counselling approaches, EFT isn't just about solving problems in the here and now – it goes much deeper, addressing the very roots of how couples relate to each other. But why is this particular modality so effective for couples?

 “Research indicates that about 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery after completing EFT, with approximately 90% showing significant improvements.” Johnson, S. M. (2004). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection. New York: Brunner-Routledge.

Here’s a look at the reasons why EFT is becoming a gold standard for couples counselling, particularly for those looking to create a deeper, more connected relationship. As a Fitzroy North Couples Therapist, EFT practitioner and member of Emotionally Focused Therapies Melbourne, Zoltan Rajki is a passionate advocate for the practice. Read on for his summary of why EFT, simply, works.

1. Attachment at the Core

EFT is rooted in attachment theory, which posits that our early relationships with caregivers shape how we connect emotionally with others later in life. When couples come to counselling, the issues they present often have deeper, underlying emotional needs that are tied to these early attachment experiences.

For example, a common issue in relationships might be repeated arguments about household responsibilities. While on the surface this may seem like a logistical problem, EFT delves into the emotional needs behind these arguments – often revealing fears of abandonment or feelings of being unappreciated. Couples are often surprised about what feelings and fears sit below what might seem like clear problems.

EFT’s focus on attachment needs, taps into the growing understanding of how past experiences inform present emotional health. By addressing these core emotional needs, couples find that EFT “hits the nail on the head” in finding the true issue and helps couples break out of destructive cycles.

2. Rewiring Emotional Responses

One of the key strengths of EFT is its ability to reshape emotional responses. In contrast to more cognitive approaches, which may focus on changing thoughts, EFT works with emotions directly. Emotions are powerful drivers of behaviour, and when partners feel misunderstood or disconnected, it’s often emotional responses that fuel conflict.

EFT allows couples to rewire their emotional responses to one another by fostering new, positive emotional experiences in therapy. This means that instead of reacting with defensiveness or withdrawal, partners can learn to turn towards each other in moments of difficulty. Research shows that these new emotional patterns are more likely to last because they create a secure foundation for future interactions.

Studies using brain imaging have shown that EFT can lead to changes in how couples’ brains respond to emotional cues. A 2013 study by Jim Coan and colleagues used fMRI scans to observe couples' brain activity before and after EFT therapy. After treatment, partners showed reduced brain activation in threat-response areas when holding their partner's hand, indicating a sense of increased safety and emotional security.

This kind of emotional rewiring offers a lasting way forward.

3. Evidence-Based and Scientifically Supported

EFT isn’t just popular because it feels good – it’s supported by decades of rigorous research. The research indicates that about 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery after completing EFT, with approximately 90% showing significant improvements. This data comes from multiple studies, including one of the most rigorous and cited evaluations conducted by Dr. Susan Johnson, one of the founders of EFT, and her colleagues.

The foundational study that established EFT's effectiveness was a randomised clinical trial conducted by Johnson and Greenberg in the 1980s. Since then, EFT has been evaluated in over 30 clinical trials, with results consistently supporting its efficacy across various populations, including couples dealing with trauma, depression, and infidelity.

Additionally, EFT has been compared to other therapeutic modalities, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and has often shown superior long-term outcomes in terms of relationship satisfaction and emotional bonding. A study by Dalton et al. (2013) directly compared CBT and EFT, finding that while both approaches were effective in the short term, EFT led to more enduring emotional bonding and satisfaction in couples over time.

For a quality summary of EFT research, you can visit the ICEEFT Research Page.

4. Deepening Emotional Connection

Many relationship therapies aim to improve communication, but EFT goes a step further by strengthening emotional bonds. When couples feel emotionally connected, their ability to navigate conflict and stress improves dramatically.

For example, take a couple that has discussions spiral into accusations and defensiveness, leaving both feeling misunderstood. Through EFT, they can learn to express the fear beneath the complaints and defensiveness – which finally reaches each other and allows them to move forth with care for each other’s vulnerabilities.

EFT creates an environment where couples can not only express their emotions but understand and respond to their partner’s feelings in a deeper way. This doesn’t mean every issue will disappear, but the way couples handle problems becomes far more compassionate and cooperative.

Creating that emotional safety net through EFT can be a game-changer.

5. Therapeutic Flexibility

A major reason why EFT works for a broad range of couples is its flexibility. It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach. Unlike therapies that may rely heavily on structured communication exercises or problem-solving strategies, EFT allows the therapist to dynamically adjust to the evolving emotional experiences and vulnerabilities that arise during sessions, making the approach deeply responsive to the couple's specific needs.

For example, a couple struggling with infidelity may focus on rebuilding trust and addressing the emotional injuries caused by the betrayal, while a couple facing communication breakdowns may work on identifying and softening defensive cycles. This adaptability allows EFT to address the unique dynamics and attachment needs within each relationship, fostering deeper emotional connection and resilience.

6. Long-Lasting Impact

Finally, one of the most compelling reasons to choose EFT is the long-term benefits it offers. EFT doesn’t just provide quick fixes or surface-level solutions; it aims to transform the emotional landscape of the relationship. Couples who complete EFT often report feeling more secure, more connected, and better equipped to handle future conflicts.

The beauty of EFT lies in its lasting impact. The emotional shifts that happen in therapy tend to stick, as couples not only understand their emotions better but also learn how to continue fostering a secure emotional bond long after therapy ends.

In a longitudinal study by Johnson et al. (1999), couples maintained improvements in relationship satisfaction two years after completing EFT. Follow-up studies up to four years later have shown similar results, suggesting that EFT has a long-term impact on the emotional health of relationships.

7. Working with an EFT therapist

For those seeking a deeper, more resilient connection, EFT provides the roadmap to long-term relationship success.

For couples in Melbourne’s inner north, seeking the help of a qualified EFT therapist like Zoltan Rajki can be the key to transforming your relationship from one of conflict to one of connection. Whether you’re facing persistent issues or simply want to strengthen your bond, EFT offers a pathway to lasting emotional security.

Featured image by Marcelo Matarazzo on Unsplash